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Guide 2 Internet Dating > Free Articles > Your First Date
Your First Date
Initially there may have been some trepidation, but after a few e-mails you find that you feel enough of a connection to meet with someone from an internet dating site.
As mentioned in our article on the dangers of internet dating, you should always use caution when meeting new people. Some safety precautions we would suggest, include:
- Do not give out your home phone number to a
stranger.
- Tell a trusted friend where you are going, and
- Meet in a public place is also advised. when you will be back.
This could, for example, be a bookstore, coffee shop, restaurant, beach or park.
- For your first meeting, it is best to set up a short meeting. That way, you can see how things go before deciding whether you wish to commit yourself to a longer meeting.
You shouldn't expect instant fireworks when you first meet somebody. Meeting an internet date for the first time can be a slightly awkward and unusual situation - so you need to give yourself time to relax and start to feel comfortable with your date. If you don't feel an initial attraction when you sit down, it's still a good idea to give the person a chance and let the conversation unfold. Many couples say that there wasn't chemistry in their first meeting with a partner, but it grew in time.
The more that you share with the other person, the easier it will be for them to open up to you. You can of course decide how much of your personal information and history you want to disclose in your initial conversation - perhaps this is something to think about before your date. You should try to be careful about spending a lot of time going over your reactions to a past relationship as this can get you into some unresolved emotions and can make your date feel very uncomfortable.
During the date, you should aim to also ask the other person about themselves rather than simply talking most of the time focusing about yourself. There's a difficult balance that you have to strike with your questions; You don't want to get too personal, but you do want to let the other person share their background, interests and personality with you. If you do ask a question that is digging too deep, you can usually tell in the person's facial expression or their responses, so try to be sensitive to their answers.
Be especially careful when talking about parents or family, as this can be an area that is touchy or one of great joy. When discussing these topics, you'll need to carefully gauge their reactions and emotional level, before asking additional questions about these subjects.
If you're struggling for subjects to discuss, good icebreakers can include topics in the environment such as types of coffee or tea the person likes, favorite books and magazines, or outdoors activities that they enjoy.
Finally, try to approach this new experience with good humor. If nothing comes from your date, it is just one or two hours of your time that you have spent as you seek the ideal partner.